Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Miracles are alive and well

Let me just start out by saying how grateful I am that God has a plan for us, and that his plan for me is perfect and better than I could have ever come up with on my own.
I believe we have free will, but that Heavenly Father also puts us through trials and obstacles in life that sometimes prevent us from getting or doing what we want, impeding upon our free will.. if you will. Although it is so hard to see why, I believe there is a reason. I feel it is ALWAYS the best thing for US at the time, and in the big picture will help us to be better, help ME to be a better me.
Lets start 5 years ago, when I married the most wonderful man. I had wanted to have children ALL my life, I was born to be a mother, I just knew it. I wanted to get started on my family right away.
4 years ago... We had been trying to have children for a year, and decided we needed a little fertility help. We began going to a fertility specialist only to find out that BOTH of us had infertility issues. We were told that is was very unlikely that we would ever be able to get pregnant on our own, without help. I began taking fertility drugs, and immediately felt my body telling me that it was not the right thing to do. I stopped and began down the road of acceptance that I may not ever be able to conceive children.
a little over 3 years ago... I had made it to that place, finally, that is SO hard to get to. I was ready to accept that I would not be able to conceive a child. I was lifted up with the support of my Heavenly Father and savior Jesus Christ, my family and Husband, and began contemplating adoption as a way to begin our family.
A little while later Mike also had the feeling that we needed to go the route of adoption, that it was in the cards for us and that this would bring us children and more happiness and joy than we could ever imagine.
Shortly there after... Gabriel Robert Jones was born to the most amazing Angel Mother, Phoenix, and she did the most Christ like thing a human being can do.. she entrusted him to a family, to us, so that he could have a Mother and Father and have more than she as a young teen could give him. He made our hearts swell and we loved him from the moment we laid eyes on him.
A little over a year and a half ago... We felt the desire to have another child. I was afraid to open up my mind to trying to conceive naturally again, and was torn between trying to get pregnant (and having to give up again) or go the route of adoption again. Mr. Jones and I prayed, and both, individually, got the impression that there was a special child out there that was meant to be in our family. That needed Gabriel as an elder brother... that we needed to adopt again. We were SO excited to move forward with our family.
A little over a year ago... Malia Jones was born to yet again one of the most amazing 17 year old girls I had ever met, our second Angel Mother, Kara. She gave me the little girl I had always wanted, I love her so much. She brings light and joy into all of our lives and her and Gabe LOVE each other beyond words.
About 6 months ago... I got the distinct impression my family was complete! That we would not adopt again. I felt a sense of peace with the beautiful children we had been blessed with. I felt so much joy and love for them and felt that we had completed our family. I did not hope for having a child naturally, I was happy, we were happy. I looked back and realized that I had become what I thought would be so hard to become just a few years back, at peace and full of gratitude for Heavenly Father's plan for us to adopt our children, and not to conceive them ourselves. I felt so blessed that we had been chosen to be adoptive parents. That we got to have our children come to us in such a special way, and I had no desire to ever have it any other way than the road we had taken to get to that point. We had two beautiful amazing children that had come to us in such a miraculous way.
Just this month... A miracle. It seems God had other plans for our little family. I am PREGNANT! Now, I know this may fall on ears that have joy and some a little sadness from hearing this news. For those who also have not been able to have children naturally, I know. And all I can say is I am as grateful as a human can possibly be for this miracle. I appreciate that Heavenly Father has answered my prayers, and that He has decided that it is now my time, that now is His time (which is SO much more important than my time actually) to bless us with this miracle. For those of you who have or can have children, yours is a miracle as well, cherish it as much as you can. There are so many who never have this miracle happen to them. Be sensitive to those around you whom you know are struggling. Know that mention of child birth or pregnancy can pain them at times, it is one of the hardest trials a woman can go through.
Now, my whole point, or my main thought that I wanted to share. I am now in the future, five years into our marriage, into my wonderful blessed little family. I am looking back at my pain, suffering, difficulty accepting that I could not have children. And then my joy and happiness and realization that there was something special in store for us, two somethings, Gabe and Malia. And now, seeing that there is at least one more child, that was waiting for us to go through ALL of that, to ensure that these two that I already have, came to OUR family. I don't understand it all, God's plan for me that is, but that is ok. I trust Him, have faith in Him, and know that he knows me, Becky, and loves me more than I could ever know. And, looking back, I can see that He knows better than I do. Yes, He put me through that difficult time, puts us all through difficult times, but I feel this is why: Because how much greater can we understand joy and happiness if we have been through such sorrow and struggle? How much greater our joy will be than those who have seen no different. In other words, we have to understand pain and suffering to truly appreciate and understand joy. To have the most joy we can possibly have. And what Father would not want that for His children? We go through trials, to more appreciate the joy and miracles in our lives.
I have know this concept for many years, but this experience has made me understand it even more. I will appreciate and enjoy every moment of this miracle. I will never take it for granted because I KNOW what it is like to NOT have the choice to create your own child. I have experienced that sorrow, and now my heart is overflowing with joy at the news that we are to have a baby.
We will keep you all posted as we get any new news. Please keep us in your prayers as it is still early on. I cherish all of my friendships and loved ones. You mean the world to me, and I am SO excited to go through this with all of you by our sides.

23 comments:

Betsy said...

A Miracle is exactly how I've phrased it... I wondered how long you could wait before posting - longer than I thought :)

Chelsea said...

Becky,
You made me cry. What a great testimony you have. What a great strength and example you are to others. I love you and am so excited for another niece or nephew!!

Mesia said...

Oh my goodness! That was such a great post!! Congratulations! You are amazing!! Keep me posted!! I will be in Cali April 16-29...let's play!

::jill:: said...

BECKY!!!

all i can say is WOW!!! Congrats!!! that is the best news!! we are so excited for your family!!
we will keep you in our prayers that all goes well with the pregnancy!! :)

Megan said...

Becky, I am so happy for you! Isn't it interesting how the Lord works... I can't contain my excitement - I feel like the day I found out I was expecting!! Sometimes it can seem so surreal, yet it's absolutely the perfect time and everything is falling into place like you never thought it could! Congratulations from a million miles away!

Megan (Betsy's friend)

Aubrey Antis said...

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! youre having a baby! I'm so happy for you, and Gabe and Malia are going to be great older siblings! :) What a miracle for your family! Yay!

Rod Santiano said...

Congrats you guys!!! That's so exciting :D

This Heavenly Life said...

Awww jeez you brought tears to my eyes. I am beyond happy for you guys. What luck this baby will have, being born into such a beautiful family! Congratulations on your miracle blessing!

jackie said...

I am so happy for you. I cried just like everyone else that left comments.
What an exciting time. See I knew all along that you were ready for your third I was just a couple weeks early.
What an amazing miracle. I know that the Lord wanted you to adopt those two beautiful kids of yours that is why he made you wait a bit for pregnancy.
Plus now you are excited about your third. I am kind of not looking forward to be pregnant again, but i know it is a blessing.
Congratulations. Congrats.
I am soooo happpy for you.

jackie

The Clevelands said...

I am so00oo exited and happy for you!

-Wendy

ashley said...

hey! congrats, thats great news! hope your feeling well!

also, off the topic, i dig the trader joes blog. i have some recipes i should send to you and britt.

Benjamin said...

So cool. I totally had a feeling on Saturday! I almost said "dude are you pregnant?" - but I didn't want to be weird since that would have seemed to be out of the question - but it so wasn't! Yay. Are we still on for camping?

Tracy Elder said...

So so so so happy for you!! Congratulations 10 times!!

Anonymous said...

I also wondered how long until there was a post? I can not express the words of joy. What a beautiful way you have to wxpress the news, Becky. I am so impressed by your thoughts and how you can get them written for all to see and share. Thank you for being my special daughter!

Harmony said...

WOW! WOW! AND WOW!!
tears of joy for you. I'm so happy and alarmed and excited and Wow! Now I get to see YOU pregnant! Of course you'll be adorable! I love you!
Congratulations!

Lu said...

BECKY!!!! Here I am talking to you this morning, asking you for favors and what not and I had NO IDEA!!!!! I wanted to just say thanks for your help this morning, but honestly reading this post was exactly exactly what I needed. I loved how you said everything here! Your humility and gratitude just leaks from every word. I am sooooooo happy for you and your sweet little fam!
Congratulations on this unbelievable miracle/blessing. And thanks for the perspective in my own life as a mother. I needed that today :)

Alison said...

OH MY GOSH BECKY!!!

i am so excited for you and your family!!!!!

this is going to be SO FUN to read about on the blog!!

xoxo
alison

Elise said...

WHAT! THAT IS AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even before I read it, I saw the title and thought, "she's pregnant!" and you totally are! Congrats you four!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This Heavenly Life said...

I hope you don't mind, becky, I'm linking to this beautiful post on my blog tomorrow...it's too sweet to keep to myself. You put everything so beautifully, and I'm so so so excited to read about your miracle pregnancy! Let me know if you'd rather I didn't link.
Sarah

Steph said...

Hey Becky!! I didn't even know u had this blog! Dave and I r so happy for you and Mike. What a blessing! And u should definitly plan on a 2nd trimester get-a-way. It's the best!!

Lacey said...

Becky, we've only met a few times but I just wanted to tell you Congratulations! Thank you for sharing such a personal part of your life. The Lord really does work miracles. I am so happy for you to have this miracle in your life. I hope all goes well and that you feel good!

Jen Proffit said...

Congrats to you, Mike and the gang---you really are starting to have a big family :) I gues we're not too far behind you. Can't wait to see your cute prego belly. Who's gonna take your prego pics? I just love the pics you took of our family when I was pregnant with Audrey. What great memories. Enjoy!

Amberli said...

becky - this is so incredible. my heart is so full reading your story. infertility is so painful. you deserve this miracle! congratulations!

 

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